Every entrepreneur loves the sound of “Yes.”
Insurance agents measure growth by the length of our client lists and the volume of our transactions.
But as I look back on twenty-four years of serving faith-based leaders, I’ve realized that the most powerful word in an advisor’s vocabulary isn’t “Yes”—it’s “No”. Specifically, the “No” you give a client when a “Yes” would lead them into a trap.
In 2016, a young person I mentored walked into my office. I sat at my desk while the sun turned from summer to fall outside my window. My customer service representative worked in the next room. For all intents and purposes, the day felt like a very ordinary business day.
But the situation across the desk from me was anything but ordinary.
A Moral and Financial Crossroads
This young individual—under the age of 25—faced a legal and financial crisis. They lost the car their parents gave them, and law enforcement cited them for a DUI. They wanted a forecast on the cost to insure a new vehicle.
In the insurance world, we call this a “high-premium event.” To drive a financed vehicle with a DUI on your record, you need a specific, expensive stack of coverages:
- SR-22 Filing: A certificate of financial responsibility the state requires that acts as a beacon for high rates.
- Loan Gap Coverage: Protection necessary because the car’s value drops the second you drive off the lot, but the debt stays high.
- Collision Coverage: Mandatory protection for any bank-financed loan.
For someone under 25 with a DUI, the high-risk status meant the insurance premiums would likely rival the monthly car payment itself. We looked at a combined monthly burden of roughly $800—just for the privilege of sitting in a driver’s seat.
The Temptation of the “Pusher”
As a salesman, I could have easily quoted the policy, bound the coverage, and collected a big commission.
In my book, “Influencer Networking Secrets,” I call this being a “Pusher”—someone whose main concern involves swapping products for money in the moment, without regard for the future.
But I have a mission that transcends cash flow. I strive to be a “Magnet”—someone who pulls people toward clarity, selflessness, and the truth.
I looked at the mentee and asked what they did for work. I didn’t need to see a pay stub, or a spreadsheet of their groceries and rent to see: the math didn’t work. So I delivered what I call “Affectionate Truthfulness.”
I told them: “There is no way you can afford an $800 monthly bill for transportation on your current salary. You need an alternate way of getting around.”
Friction
The initial “heat signature”—the infrared of human connection—turned cold. I sensed defensiveness. The mentee felt that society must accommodate their needs. But I pressed forward with a hard “No” on the car purchase.
I challenged them: “Can you ride buses? Yes. Can you take taxis or Ubers? Yes. Can you carpool? Yes. Can you walk if that’s what it takes? Yes.”
I call this the Newtonian Law of Spiritual Motion. A human being inert in a bad habit—in this case, a bad financial trajectory—tends to stay there unless an outside force acts upon them.
I chose to be that force. I chose to be the “Truth Agent” who cares more about the client’s long-term protection than a short-term commission.
The Long-Term Dividend
For over a year, that young person lived the “low-prestige” reality of alternative transportation. They owned their mistake. They worked hard. They secured a better, more lucrative job with a real benefits package.
One day, a year later, a photo popped up on my social media feed. That same young person stood next to a new car they bought with their own cash. They could now easily afford a high-quality insurance policy.
They replied to my congratulatory comment with words worth more than any commission check I’ve ever cashed: “Thank you so much for telling me what I needed to hear. I feel so much better for having followed your advice.”
Today, as I continue to ply the insurance trade in Gilbert, Arizona, I remember this story… because now, my own son has wrecked his car and got his license suspended.
I may not get recognition for it for years to come, but I can dream: someday, he’ll express his gratitude that I didn’t shield him, lie to him, or spare him the precious lessons of his own mistakes.
So, what about you? In your business, do you act as a Pusher, or a Magnet? Do you merely push products, or do you change lives?
Sometimes, the best service you provide costs you a sale… but saves a soul.
Selah